From Enlightenment to Exploitation: When Self-Help Turns Coercive
There’s a fine line between a ‘cult’ and what members may call a harmless community. In the digital age, it’s never been easier to join, swipe, or connect with people on social media where self-help gurus and spiritual guides can be booked in an instant. Courses can be taken via video call and appointments can take place over the phone or even text. Yet how can we distinguish between an empathetic leader in charge of a harmonious group and one that is coercive?
Self-improvement or spiritual coercion?
I can’t help but reflect on one of my old managers who would often encourage our team to sign up for Tony Robbins seminars for guidance on self-improvement – this was a corporate job by the way…
During monthly meetings in the boardroom – the curtains pulled across the glass windows that overlooked the office reception – we were often pressured to participate in a ‘new breathwork exercise’ that my boss had learned from yet another one of Robbins’ online seminars.
Look, I’m the kind of person who will try anything once, so I followed along with Robbin’s signature baritone voice, lifting my hands up and down in what seemed like a fit of rage rather than getting any closer to spiritual enlightenment. Think of a childhood moment, he asked the packed auditorium. A time of happiness. A time of sadness. A time of... This is where I began to lose focus.
For the next 11 minutes, I watched the crowd in the video partake in the exercise. Some crying from emotional release. Others with their eyes tightly shut, grasping onto his word as though it were scripture. I looked over at my colleagues and boss seated in the boardroom. Their eyes closed too, still lifting their arms up and down, up and down, without resistance. Perhaps Robbins wasn’t for me. But to my boss, he was God.
Open Instagram, Facebook, or search through the thousands of community-oriented websites like Meetup.com, and it’s not difficult to find hundreds of similar self-help communities and influencers ready to transform your life for the ‘better’. For a price, of course.
On Instagram, I’ve seen business accounts dedicated to psychic readings for $88 ($110 if it’s in-person), spiritual healers and fortune tellers, motivational speakers and life coaches – some that guarantee 100% results, with no indication as to how this is measured.
Now, in no way am I saying that every one of these accounts should be labelled as ‘culty’. But where self-improvement, healing, and spirituality are the aim of such groups and influencers, it’s important to be aware of the potential signs for manipulation and emotional abuse.
After all, we want to avoid being in the company of alleged abusers like yogis Bikram Choudhury and Yogi Bhajan and self-help influencers Teal Swan and Kat Torres.
How to tell if something seems a little bit ‘culty’?
Dr Janja Lalich, who has dedicated her life to researching cults, has put together a number of key characteristics and qualities to help identify the patterns of cultic coercion.
Some key characteristics of a cult include:
Does the group display an unquestioning devotion to its leader and sees their beliefs and ideology as the only Truth?
Are mind-altering practices used in excess to suppress doubts about the group and its leader (think meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, etc)?
Does the leader/s dictate how members should think, act, and feel (e.g., members must get permission to date, change jobs, or marry – or leaders prescribe what to wear, where to live, whether to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).
Does the group have a polarised, us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with wider society?
I highly recommend reading more about Dr Lalich’s research and taking a look at the resources available on her website.
Spiritual exploration is a beautiful and deeply personal journey, but it’s also one that can be exploited by those who claim to be enlightened guides, gurus, or life coaches. While this shouldn’t stop us from seeking life’s deeper meaning, it’s important to be intentional and grounded in that search.
Before joining a new group or community, I recommend taking some time to reflect. Ask yourself: What am I looking for? What do I hope to gain – or avoid? Do I already know what I need? Write it down. Keep this list close and revisit it when you're uncertain about whether the group, its leader, or values don’t align with your own.
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As for the situation with my boss regarding the Tony Robbins breathwork exercise – well, that wasn’t okay. There wasn’t any consideration given to whether my colleagues and I wanted to participate in a rather intense meditation exercise in the first place. If you’re ever in a workplace situation where you feel pressured to participate in spiritual exercises, meditations, or breathwork that don’t align with your beliefs, know that you can and absolutely should say no.
If you’re unsure whether you’re a part of a cult or victim of coercive control, there are a number of Australian resources that can help you identify key characteristics, as well as provide guidance on how to leave high-demand groups. Be sure to check out Cult Consulting Australia and Cult Information and Family Support Inc for more information.